For families
If someone you love is in a Smart Step home — or trying to get into one — this is what we can tell you, what we cannot, and what actually helps.
Need help right now?
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call or text 988 · 24/7
- SAMHSA National Helpline — 1-800-662-4357 · free, confidential, 24/7
- 211 — Call 211 for local food, housing and utility help
If someone is in immediate danger, call 911. More crisis resources.
What a recovery residence is
It is a home, not a hospital. Residents live together, keep to shared house standards, go to work or school, and support each other. Smart Step Inc. is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides housing and peer support. We are not a medical provider and we do not provide medical care.
People come and go for jobs, appointments and meetings. Structure comes from curfew, chores, house meetings and screening — you can read exactly what is expected on the house standards page. Nothing about it is a secret from you.
What you will and will not be told
This is the hardest part for most families, so here it is plainly. Records about substance use carry strong federal privacy protections. Unless your adult family member signs a written release naming you, we cannot tell you how they are doing, whether they have used, whether they are still here — or, in most cases, even confirm that they live here at all.
Without a signed release
We can talk with you in general terms: how our homes work, what the house standards are, how to apply, what the weekly program fee is, how to raise a concern. That part is open to anyone.
With a signed release
Your family member decides exactly what may be shared and with whom — and can limit it or cancel it later. To set one up, they talk to their house manager, or you can ask us how it works — {{FAMILY CONTACT}}.
We know how it lands when you are frightened and someone will not answer a simple question. The rule is not there to shut you out. It exists because people in recovery only tell the truth to staff they are sure will not repeat it — and that honesty is often what keeps them alive. We hold the same line for your family member that we would hold for you.
What actually helps
- Be steady and predictable. In early recovery, one reliable person is worth more than ten enthusiastic ones.
- Ask what helps rather than deciding for them. Then do that thing, and keep doing it.
- Notice small, ordinary progress out loud — a shift worked, a week of meetings, a bill paid.
- Talk about things other than recovery. They are still your son, your sister, your parent, your friend.
- Learn what a return to use is and is not. It is common, it is dangerous, and it is not a verdict on them or on you.
- Keep your own life going. Your steadiness is the resource here; do not spend all of it.
Boundaries, without the punishment
A boundary is a statement about what you will do — not a lever to make someone else change. It works because it is clear, said in advance, and kept the same way every time.
- I will drive you to a meeting any day of the week. I will not give cash.
- You are welcome at Sunday dinner. Not if you have been using that day.
- I will help with the program fee directly. I will not pay off old debts.
- I will answer the phone. Not after midnight unless it is an emergency.
Say it once, calmly, when nothing is on fire. Keep it. Changing a boundary under pressure teaches that pressure works; changing it later, on purpose, because you thought it through, is fine.
Look after yourself too
Families need support of their own, and it is not selfish to go get it. Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and other family groups exist in most areas, and a counselor of your own can be the difference between lasting a year and lasting a month. Calling 211 will connect you with local services.
Local family support options — {{LOCAL FAMILY SUPPORT GROUPS}}.
If you are worried about their safety right now
Call 911 if someone is in immediate danger. Otherwise the national lines at the top of this page are staffed around the clock, for them and for you — you do not have to be the person in crisis to call. Everything else we know about getting help fast is on the crisis help page.